HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL: A
SUBTERRANEAN ROMANCE
ΑΘΑΝΑΤΟΙ ΕΛΠΙΣ ΑΝΙΣΗΜΙ: ΚΑΤΑΧΘΟΝΙΟΝ ΕΡΟΣ ΕΠΟΣ
1: Diabolic Simpatico
Συμπονηρευμαι
It was just another perfect day
on Olympus. Same as the days, weeks, years, in fact the millennia before. Except
for a minor disturbance about five weeks ago, things almost never changed.
The minor disturbance in question --an unsuccessful coup attempted by Hades
to overthrow Olympus and usurp Zeus' throne -- had been quite a topic of conversation
for days afterward. The damage caused by the rampaging Titans had healed completely,
but of course clouds tend to bounce back into shape without any special help.
At
first there were heated suggestions to hunt down Hades and bring him to justice,
but Zeus had vetoed this. Though he too had been surprised and angered at the
assault, he believed it to be just one more in a long line of things his brother
had done to get attention. True, it was by far the most drastic thing he'd ever
done, but it was obviously the biggest plan Hades could have made. And since
it had failed utterly, the big baby had run home to sulk.
Hercules
had brought news of Hades' complete defeat, how he'd knocked him into a pit
of fire. Zeus was sure they wouldn't see the Lord of the Dead around for quite
some time, and even if they did the dark god had no more aces up his sleeve.
There was nothing more he could do to threaten them all, ever again. However,
to allay any fears, Zeus made a formal decree: Hades was prohibited from entering
Olympus proper, and officially bumped off the Great Council.
The
other gods agreed with this wisdom. And now things had resettled into the usual
routine of lazy recreation and blissful indulgence, just the way everyone liked
it.
However,
the whole incident had caused one deity to really think about Hades' motives,
to start contemplating what his personal feelings might have been, to recall
his long sad history of isolation. The one deity had even begun to sympathise
with the dark god of the Underworld, something no one else had done.
That
one deity was Cupid.
Though
he never pretended to understand what went on inside Hades' mind, nevertheless
he, of all people, could spot the lonely soul with ease. So he began to formulate
a theory, which led to a plan of action. Something that might change Hades once
and for all, and bring Olympus permanent peace and quiet...
Shoot
Hades with a love arrow, and let the chips fall where they may.
Okay,
he wasn't quite so cavalier about his job as that. People may have thought he
was, but he truly cared about the finer points. He was often the scapegoat for
a disastrous relationship, but it was always one that he either had no involvement
with in the first place, or one that went on much longer than intended. Humans,
though, often blamed the gods for every tiny little thing that went wrong. He
was used to it.
His
powers were also quite capable of affecting gods as well, and that usually meant
he was catered to outrageously. Gods preferred to make their own decisions,
and he was one god who could make a decision for them, whether they liked it
or not. He found this amusing, since he had never intended to use his powers
on another god in the first place (though occasionally Zeus still tried to blame
an errant arrow for his own stupid actions). But now there was justified reason
to do so.
And
so, the young winged god worked all night to prepare for the attack. He dragged
out his entire arsenal, deliberating over the caliber of arrow to use. He carefully
mixed the love potion to be inserted in the arrow's tip, since the chemistry
between people was the most important factor. The formula had to be just right.
He had many, many types of potions, and some were standard fare he could use
for most humans: Infatuation, Devotion, Crush (used mostly on high-schoolers),
Unrequited, One-Night Stand, etc. Sometimes he felt like his own mother,
with her line of commercial cosmetics and perfumes. He couldn't afford to have
it wear off too fast, since Hades was a tough case to crack. So he chose the
most powerful and enduring potion of all.
When
all was ready, he sat cross-legged on a cloud chair in his mother's sumptuous
home (Cloud Nine) polishing up the ErosArrow™ that he'd filled
with the potion and chuckling to himself mischievously. When it was buffed to
a suitably high gleam, he held it aloft, declaring, "Aha! It's done!"
His
mother Aphrodite was lounging redolently on her cloud sofa, while waiting for
her workaholic husband Hephaestus to finally leave the forge and come home for
dinner. In the meantime, she was reading the latest comedic scroll by Aristophanes,
and had been chuckling occasionally herself. Mostly, though, she loved seeing
her own name in print. When her son spoke aloud, she raised a perfectly-shaped
eyebrow at him. "Why so excited? It's just an arrow."
"Looks
can be deceiving," Cupid said, waving the purplish-red arrow at her. Then
he began to pitch his product effusively. "This one is very special. The
tip is filled with a time-release capsule of undiluted True Love serum! Guaranteed
to melt even the coldest, hardest heart, in time. This, Mom, is a real super-arrow!"
He
struck a proud heroic pose, wings extended, arrow held to the sky, as if awaiting
the requisite heavenly choir to strike up and spotlight to shine down on his
grand achievement. Unfortunately his cherubs, the Muses, and Apollo were all
busy elsewhere.
Aphrodite
stifled a laugh. Then she stretched her tall rosy form, fluffed her long gold
hair and arose from her couch, though it still mistily clung to her generous
curves, of which there were plenty and then some. "Interesting idea,"
she said sincerely, coming for a closer look and smiling indulgently at her
son. "Should be good for those really hard-headed cases. Like I always
say, everyone deserves to experience True Love."
"Couldn't
have said it better myself," Cupid grinned slyly. His infamous dimples
deepened and his eyes twinkled from beneath maroon bangs. Which should have
been ample warning of the mischief he planned.
"So,
who's the guinea pig?" Aphrodite queried, not noticing the gleam. "Some
grouchy old king who's never been in love with anything but his own power?"
"You
could say that...," Cupid drawled innocently, adding almost as an afterthought,
"my target is Hades."
It
took a full three seconds for that to register properly in Aphrodite's mind.
The first second, she merely nodded, not truly aware of what she'd actually
heard. The next second, she turned to stare in disbelief at Cupid. The third
second reduced her to hysterics, leaning against a pillar and laughing herself
nearly sick.
His
pink skin flushed red, he said in a tight voice, "It's not funny."
She
righted herself, wiped away mirthful tears, and looked more closely at her son's
face. "Oh, my gods... You're serious?" she nearly choked on
the question.
"Yes,
I am!" he declared heatedly. "It's my theory that if he had known
True Love, he never would have become so evil."
"Your
'theory'? Oh, please!" Aphrodite rolled huge lavender-blue eyes
framed with long curling lashes. "This is Hades you're talking about. I
don't know if he's even capable of love, 'super-arrow' or not."
Cupid
narrowed his own violet eyes at her. "So... you think I can't do it, is
that it?" The challenged tone should have been a second warning.
And
she missed it as well. "I did not say that!" she protested.
"You
do doubt me, don't you?" he demanded, pointing a finger at
his mother accusingly. His feathers ruffled angrily.
"Oh,
stop it," she frowned, putting a tiny crease beside her perfect lips. "I
just can't imagine any girl who'd want Hades to be in love with her...
Can you?"
For
a half-second, Cupid opened and shut his mouth, trying to find a suitable response.
How could he have skipped the most important detail? In his pursuit of the perfect
formula, he'd neglected to find the perfect girl. Well, this just sucked.
He slumped, sighed and admitted the truth. "Good point."
Aphrodite
was glad he saw the wisdom of her words and the error of his ways. Sometimes
his enthusiasm carried him away, and she felt he needed reminding of the fact
that his powers, though massive, were still developing as he aged. However,
she unwisely decided further persuasion was needed, and said, "That's right.
Every goddess knows Hades' reputation all too well. We'd all rather stay single
for eternity than have to be stuck with him..."
Cupid
flinched as the salt poured over his wound. "All right, you've made it
clear," he grumbled.
"I
mean, frankly it would take a goddess who's never met him," she continued,
oblivious to her son's pointed stares, "who's been locked away on an island
or something her whole life, to even start thinking about---"
"I
get the picture!" he finally shouted, which stopped her in her tracks.
"No
need to yell." Aphrodite looked at him in surprise.
Further
discussion was interrupted by a cacophony of voices outside their door, in the
courtyard of Olympus. The voices were mostly curious and friendly, but it was
still unusual. Almost nothing new ever happened on Olympus (if you didn't count
recent months) so this was something to grab their interest. The two love deities
shelved their differences for the moment and stepped toward the door.
Outside,
a fairly large crowd had gathered around Demeter, who was waving them all forward.
She was delighted by everything that had transpired of late. Not only had she
made a momentous decision in her own life, but she had also become a full Council
member instead of merely an alternate, taking over the seat once held (unjustly,
she felt) by Hades. And now she had news that would shake the gods, but in a
good way.
"Attention,
gods and goddesses! I have an important announcement, one that's long overdue."
The green-skinned full-bodied earth mother, lush as the very fields she presided
over, dressed in a forest of green, a corn-leaf headdress atop her autumn-orange
hair, smiled as everyone grew quieter. "Two days from now, as you know,
is the celebration of First Harvest, that midway point between Summer Solstice
and Autumn Equinox. And I'd like to inform you all... that this past Springtime
was my last one."
This
led to gasps of surprise and worry, whispers of confusion. But Demeter just
held up her hands and silenced them again.
"...Because,"
she continued, "as of next year, my daughter Persephone will take
over as Goddess of Spring!" With a gentle push she produced said daughter,
who had been semi-hiding behind her mother's ample frame.
Persephone
grinned nervously, waving generally to the crowd. She really, really
didn't want to be there and wished she could melt through the cloud floor, then
realised she probably could, but would never hear the end of it from her mother
afterward.
Demeter
went on, smiling at her child. "Most of you have not gotten to know Persephone,
and I do apologise for keeping her to myself for so long. I've been a bit over-protective,
I suppose."
Persephone,
turning her head slightly away, rolled her large eyes ironically. Oh, boy,
if they only knew the half of it...
Demeter
resumed, unaware. "But until she returns to our secluded island home of
Nysa, let's please make her feel welcome on Olympus!" She opened her arms
wide, encouraging everyone to welcome her daughter into the bosom of their society.
The
gathered gods applauded and milled about, greeting and congratulating the young
goddess on her appointment. Persephone wished fervently for another Titan to
wander by and start a ruckus, anything to distract the crowd so she could run
for the hills.
Cupid
watched Persephone closely. He'd met her a few times, but the last time he'd
actually paid attention had been several years ago, and she'd really grown up
since then. She'd always been lovely, but now she was easily as beautiful as
his own love goddess mother. With bright golden skin like sunlight, wide eyes
blue as a cloudless morning sky, knee-length blazing-scarlet hair capped by
a pink flower-shaped headdress, and a lissome figure in flowing white chitonion,
nearly covered by a modest rose-coloured peplos pinned at the shoulder... she
was a total babe. But he knew, better than most, beauty wasn't everything.
He'd
been looking more at her reactions to the situation, and he seemed to be the
only person aware of how uncomfortable she was. The looks she angled at Demeter
said she hadn't chosen anything for herself, and Cupid knew how stubborn the
elder goddess could be. He was willing to bet Demeter still treated her like
a little child, which she clearly was not. He was also willing to bet the younger
goddess would do nearly anything to get out from under her mother's green thumb.
He
pondered over the two or three times he'd seen her at various get-togethers
with the gods, and recalled Demeter's habit of leaving quite early. The most
recent time had been thirteen or fourteen years ago, at the wedding of Peleus
and Thetis (gods, what a disaster that was). If he remembered correctly, Hades
had shown up for a short while, arriving just about the same time Persephone
was being dragged home. Cupid had a sudden sharp memory of how the dark god's
eyes had widened when he'd seen her... how he'd stared almost unblinking, silent
and breathless, a look of sweet pain on his face, until she was out of sight...
how he'd hinted casually for information about her afterward...
Hey,
wait a minute... Hades had never looked at anyone that way before. Now,
what was it Aphrodite had been saying...? And what had Demeter said just moments
ago...?
No
way was this a coincidence!
Cupid
was one of the few gods on somewhat friendly terms with the Fates, and had occasionally
done a bit of dirty work for them (though he didn't often discuss it with anyone
else). Years ago they'd told him that, one day in the future, he would have
to do something no one else would approve of. That he would 'strike the heart
of death and bring it to life'. He narrowed his eyes, thinking. The God
of wintry Death... the Goddess of lively Springtime... And what a mixed-up name
she had. Persephone. Life and light, combined with sacrifice and killing.
What had Demeter been thinking when she'd named her daughter? Probably not this.
Yep,
karmic needlepoint was stitched all over this one.
A
huge grin spread across his face like a hungry wolf at an all-you-can-eat wild
game buffet. "Talk about divine intervention," he chuckled half to
himself.
Still
standing beside him, Aphrodite had of course viewed the scene in the Olympian
courtyard differently, and no such thoughts had entered her mind. In fact, her
most prominent thought had been, What a shame, she's so pretty and that outfit
really doesn't flatter her at all. I should give her some fashion tips...
But
when her son spoke aloud, she spent another three seconds in contemplation.
The first, nodding blankly; the next, her eyes grew wide in realization; the
third, she nearly gave herself whiplash as her head snapped in his direction,
an absolutely horrified gasp on her lips. "You... wouldn't... dare!"
she hissed.
Cupid,
already halfway to where he'd left the super-arrow lying, laughed. "She
fits the profile like she was made for it. In fact, I'm sure she was."
Aphrodite
frantically followed him, whispering harshly, afraid they'd be overheard. "No
way! Demeter would kill you!"
Cupid
merely grinned, shrugging nonchalantly. "Hey, I risk it all for love, don't
you?"
She
just groaned, holding her head. "Oh... oh, gods, nooo... this is not a
good idea!"
He
looked at her with a serious face then. "You said it yourself, Mom. Everyone
deserves True Love." He dared her to contradict herself.
"But...
yeah... well...," she faltered, searched for some way to take back her
own deepest-held philosophy, and couldn't find one. Then she spoke more firmly.
"This girl just can't be the right one for him! She's obviously
too young and way too innocent, and she doesn't deserve a lovestruck
Hades dragging her off to the Underworld! Hell, no one does." She dared
him to prove her wrong.
But
Cupid knew he was right, he sensed it with every beat of his interfering, match-making
little heart. The Fates had put this in his path, and he agreed with their decision.
His mother just wasn't giving things a fair chance. Shaking his head, he said,
"Too young? Not. First of all, she's clearly old enough to be making her
own life decisions. Have you forgotten how I lobbied six years ago to get the
age of self-reliance changed? Twenty-one was just way too old. Even mortals
are considered adult long before that age."
There
had been a majority Council meeting before which Cupid and Hebe, the goddess
of Youth (and Age), had presented a most convincing argument. To allow all gods
of his generation an earlier release into adulthood. The age had been moved
back to fourteen, which truly made sense because that was the time at which
their full powers began to manifest. Cupid himself was now nineteen, and hadn't
been willing to wait any longer for his own apartment and a little privacy.
"Yeah,
yeah, I know," Aphrodite rolled her eyes at her son. "You go your
own way, do your own thing, have your own space... So how come you spend half
your time in my house, eating my ambrosia, using my laundry facilities?"
"Hey,
the light is better over here for my work," he protested half-heartedly,
"and besides, this isn't about me. It's about Persephone."
"Right.
And the way you want to ruin her whole life." She crossed her arms, still
unconvinced.
"Well,
what would you know about her life?" he crossed his arms right back. "You've
probably never even talked to her, have you?"
Aphrodite
wavered again. "Well... no... but..."
"Once
again, looks can be deceiving. So let me be the judge," he said gently.
He knew his mother was still unsure. But then she couldn't always sense things
like he could, the subtle ways people were right or wrong for each other. In
fact, he had a few ideas about her own love life that he'd learned to keep to
himself, since she never appreciated his comments. She might have been the Love
and Beauty Goddess but she spent her time making the atmosphere of love better
or worse, not finding the proper combinations. That was his area of expertise,
and she knew it.
"But,"
she tried again, "it still should be fairly obvious, especially to us,
that she's a virgin goddess. Maybe not official, but definitely innocent and
untouched." Her eyes narrowed at her son, and at the thought of Hades.
"And although many men, both gods and mortals, may fantasise about taking
such a thing from a girl, that doesn't mean the girl wants to give it... Right?"
He
sighed, knowing she was right. So he compromised in a way that he still could
win. "Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. How about this... I talk to her awhile, get
to know her better, figure out what sort of things she's wishing for her life.
You know I can see right through people, if I want to. Part of my powers, seeing
the true desires of others... Right? And then, if I still think she's the right
choice -- which I do -- I go stealth-radar target Hades, and no one will ever
know I'm involved."
She
looked at her confident, smiling, sincere son and felt her heart sink. She realised
too late, he was absolutely determined to shoot Hades, had been all along. And
now that he'd chosen the intended object of affection as well, there was no
stopping him. She also knew what he said was only fair. Hades probably did need
a little love in his life, in fact it might be the very thing to improve the
dark god's overall mood. She couldn't personally recall Hades ever having been
in real love before. Although he'd certainly had a case of the hots for her
a few times (hadn't everyone?), and while he'd been pathetically unsure of himself
at first, eventually he had become more obnoxious, though never pushing beyond
what she could tolerate. Strange, she thought, perhaps he wasn't a total brute
in every respect. But still, this instant case of Spring Fever (pun intended)
might be dangerously unpredictable. And she too was a mother, and could sympathise
with Demeter on that front. She seriously doubted the earth goddess would thank
them for matching up her sweet young daughter with such a dark and bitter old
coot. And though no one had really seen Demeter lose her temper, such a thing
would probably push even the mildest goddess over the edge.
Her
face registering her concerns, she sighed, "I dunno..."
Cupid,
misreading her hesitance, thought she was still challenging his efficiency.
So he said, "And... I'll bet you a century's worth of Hebe's finest nectar
I can pull this off." He grinned widely, challenging her right back.
Aphrodite
shook her head. Let him find out for himself, the hard way. But he'd better
not come crying to her when all hell broke loose, literally. "I can tell
I'm gonna regret this," she said softly, "but... okay."
"Yes!"
Cupid hooted, shook hands with his mother over the deal then did a little victory
dance.
Aphrodite
sighed and moved to the doorway. "Well, you better get going," she
said lightly with a grin. "Looks like Apollo is already putting the smooth
moves on your little target."
"What??"
Cupid squawked. He dashed to the door, in time to see the brawny purple-skinned
part-time sun god suavely smiling at the young goddess, the scent of intended
conquest practically oozing from his pores as usual. Persephone's expression
of infinitely-polite barely-concealed revulsion was clear to Cupid but completely
overlooked by Apollo. And by Demeter, who stood by chattering happily at them.
When Apollo took Persephone's delicate hand in his own beefy meathook, bending
to kiss it lightly, Cupid actually fumed.
"Hey,
ya big over-sexed jerk! I saw her first!" he scowled. Half-running, half-flying,
the love god scampered out to join and interrupt.
Aphrodite, still standing in the doorway, watched the tableau with a sense of
doomed amusement. She sighed, her bosom heaving expressively. "This is
turning into a loooong Summer."
DH home ||
chapter 2 >>
CHAPTER ONE NOTES