Just over 24 hours ago, the world
ended.
Very few people noticed, which
would seem odd if not for the rather convenient fact that the world had
restarted in virtually the same instant. It was little more than a cosmic
hiccough, when you get right down to it.
Most human beings haven’t the
mental capacity to accept such things, and therefore chalked anything they
couldn’t understand up to typical governmental snafus, the media getting carried
away as usual, or perhaps abnormally large solar flares. A large number of
alcoholics decided that they’d had one too many bad weekends and jumped on the
wagon. But just as many former tee-totallers decided the world was just a mite
too strange to cope with in a state of sobriety anymore, thus balancing things
out nicely.
What was important was, by the
next day, everything had returned to normal and everyone on earth was reasonably
at peace with that fact.
Except for one individual.
This particular individual was
extremely peeved over the world’s failure to follow its destiny and get on with
ending. And this individual was also planning to do something rather drastic
about it.
What you’re probably thinking is,
Ah, it must be Satan, because he was so looking forward to running
roughshod over the earth, crushing it beneath his heel during the fabled
thousand years of darkness and terror which had been prophesied.
You would be incorrect, actually.
At this juncture, you’re likely
to think, Could it be God Himself? After all, He didn’t exactly
get what He wanted either…did He? At this point, you’d probably become confused
as to what God actually wanted anyway, and give up thinking about it.
Which is a good idea. Also, it’s
not God we’re talking about here.
Well then, you’d implore, who the
bloody hell is it?
And we’d tell you to keep a firm
grip on your equines and we’ll get around to it, no sense ruining every mystery
of the story right off the bat, Patience is a Virtue, and so on.
After all, this is a story about
mysteries: The mystery of love, which is messy and complicated and
horrible and divine. The mystery of being human, which is very much like love.
The mystery of life and death and a third state that doesn’t quite have a name.
The mystery of being demonic and/or angelic, when you have nothing much to
occupy yourself with for the rest of infinity. The mystery of being the
Antichrist when you’re heading into puberty. The mystery of a very special deal
made during the attempted Armageddon. And above all, the mystery of
Ineffability, which is the mystery of being mysterious.
It may take a while to unravel.
Meanwhile, we can vouchsafe one
small detail. There is a book of prophecies, concerning the Last Three Seals of
the Apocalypse, the Second Coming of the Christ, and the individuals who will be
involved directly in the process. The book is Further Nice & Accurate
Prophecies by Agnes Nutter, and it shall become a key part of this story.
Ah ha, you’re saying now,
but that book was burned over a day ago! What about that, eh?
And we’d just smile, ineffably,
and tell you not to judge a book of prophecies by its shabby old cover.
Literally.
Nothing is ever quite what it
seems.